Basic Parenting Skills
There are four basic skills you need to know as a parent. These skills are simple to grasp and you can start to implement them today. Honing these four basic parenting skills will make you able to cope with temper tantrums and your child's behavioural problems quickly and easily whilst yourself staying in control.
1) Parent as Peacekeeper
You'll find your family works better together once you are all clear where the lines are drawn. As the peacekeeper in your home, it's up to you to set these boundaries. You have the position and the authority to pick the right battles, choose a handful of simple but effective rules, show everyone in your household how to live together by these rules and to help people follow them.
Your child will feel more secure now they know precisely what's expected of them. You'll find you can keep calmer once you and your child have agreed on what behaviour is expected of them.
2) Parent who listens (doesn't just hear)
When your child has a behavioural issue you need to sort out, make sure you listen to their feelings and acknowledge their feelings before you move straight to disciplining them.
If your child hit their sibling because of a squabble, stop what you're doing, go down to his level and acknowledge that it's not nice when people say bad things to each other. Yes, you will have to move on to a warning or consequence for this bad behaviour, but a parent who listens quickly gains the respect of their child, and with this respect your child's behavioural problems will be easier to solve.
3) Parent who praises
Know how to praise your child when they get it right, and let them know when you're proud of them. Praise from a parent is the best motivation for good behaviour and proper praise will encourage your child's self confidence and develop their self-esteem.
Don't just tell them they're good or well-behaved or being clever, praise your child's specific actions. Tell them you liked it when you saw them doing something which required some thought on their part, like giving one of their toys to their crying younger brother. Encourage your child to praise their own siblings and keep a reward chart for them as an individual and another for joint actions which they can do with their siblings.
Take time out every day to catch your child doing something right!
4) The consistent parent
Now there are two major ways to be consistent as a parent: the first is consistency in your actions. If you have a house rule covering backchat and your child backchats when you're out and about, right there and then follow through with the agreed consequences. Don't wait till later or put it off altogether. Your child's behavioural issues will benefit from the rules you've put into place only if you react every time in the same way.
The second way you must remain consistent towards your child's behaviour problems is never to contradict your partner when you're dealing with discipline issues. Agree together which your partner and your children on which rules you want your household to live by, and how breaking these rules should be punished. Then follow through every time. If you think your partner is dealing with a certain behavioural issue in the wrong way, wait until you are on your own with him/ her to take this up with them: to the kids you must prove a united front.
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